Done With God...for now

My relationship with God is about to look very different.

Transcript

What's up, everyone? I'm Ruthina Porterfield, God's favorite, and I want you to get to know him. This is the meet my God podcast.

Today we meet God in the middle of my storm. So hopefully you listened to the most recent episode, yesterday's episode, where I talked about how I felt like I was going through the same cycles that the children of Israel was going through as a result of God, basically saying, here's the promise that I'm making to you. However, I'm going to give you stuff to do, but that's not going to result in the promise over and over and over again. But trust me, you're going to receive the promise. The children of Israel went through that nine times, and then finally, on the 10th time, they got their freedom. As I said yesterday, I am not down for going through this cycle ten times. When I look at it, I feel like I've been going through this cycle for about 16 years now. And quite frankly, I am tired of feeling stupid and foolish. Yeah. And my relationship with God is at this point, very. It's almost like a couple, a married couple who's been married for a really long time. And the person, let's say the wife, the wife has constantly asked their husband for things, and the husband has constantly said, okay, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. And she just gets tired of waiting after years and years. That's kind of where I am. And I get it. God is not human. He's faithful. He's gonna do what he says. I know all that, but I've said this for about a year to him now. I'm not gonna continue to do this anymore. I don't want to live my life like this anymore. In the constant struggle. The main thing is as a result of the rent situation, again, listen to yesterday's episode as a result of the rent situation and me truly believing that. I heard God say he was going to take care of this by today. And today has come, and it has not been taken care of. This isn't a thing about God, didn't do what he said as much as it is about. I am tired of trying to figure out if I'm hearing God or hearing myself. I'm over it. Not confusion, but just the constant battle of trying to figure this out. I'm over it. I'm tired of it. And I'm kind of done. I don't know what my relationship with God is going to look like after today, because honestly, I'm numb. I'm still trying to figure out how, like for example, tomorrow I have to go to the courthouse to fight eviction. I'm so frustrated. But I don't know what my relationship with him is going to look like now. My entire life has been, has revolved around my relationship with God. Like everything I did do, how I operate my routine, everything revolved around my relationship with God. I don't know what my life is going to look like now because I know that I'm not going to be this person that stops believing in God. Because I know God is real. There's no doubt in my mind God is real. And I actually believe that God is faithful and all of that stuff. But I almost feel like my relationship isn't what I thought it was like, I thought it was something that it wasn't. That's what I feel like. And I'm just too tired right now. I'm just too tired to try to figure this out. So what does the podcast and everything else look like? I don't know. I know that this will probably be the last episode for a while because I have to make sure I can stay in my apartment and I'm just tired. I'm so tired. But prayerfully, if I do come back, which honestly, something is telling me that I will, if the podcast does come back, it will be in a different form and it will really focus on what my relationship with God looks like and respect of the word of God. So that's it for now. I hope that your relationship with God grows. And I don't think this is the end of my relationship, but it definitely is the beginning of a new phase. Pray for me as I pray for you. Peace, stay cool, and God bless.

Thank you for listening, but don't forget to read the scriptures for yourself. And if you would, please rate us in your favorite podcast app, it helps us so much in the rankings. Until next time, peace, stay cool and God bless.